Create a Brand New Mindset!
It’s January, and we all make New Year’s resolutions. We start out highly motivated and confident that this will be the year we change our lives. We’ll exercise every day, read a book a week, learn a new skill, GET ORGANIZED. Then we lose steam and give up by February. Does this sound familiar?
What if this year were different, and you really do accomplish these goals (especially that last one!)?
What would it take to do it?
Before any change can happen, there has to be a new way of thinking.
Change Your Brain…
…Change EVERYTHING
When I work with clients, either onsite or virtually, I ask lots of questions, like
- How do you use this?
- Will you use it if you keep it?
- Is this working for you?
- How important to you is this (item, commitment, information)?
The answer is often, “I don’t know.”
OK, while this may frustrate me, because I like definitive answers, I can understand why they say it.
I’m asking them to think in a way they may not have done before, and that’s hard. Lots of practice and repetition are needed before a new skill or habit can take hold.
So, in order for clients to give me a more concrete reply, there are a few things they need to do. This can be a real challenge, because many of my clients live with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) or another brain-based condition that affects their Executive Functions.
1. Be mindful and stay in the present. This requires a pattern interrupt – something that breaks the “autopilot” of their thoughts. It’s easy and comfortable to continue thinking the way they always have, but when something creates a surprise and grabs their attention, it wakes up the brain. A simple pattern interrupt can be the sound of an obnoxious timer going off.
2. Commit to living intentionally and making conscious choices. They can remind themselves of the changes they want to make and why they want to make them. This can be as simple as pausing for a few seconds before throwing that bag of chips into the shopping cart and asking themselves if that’s really what they want to put into their bodies, after they have set a goal of eating more healthfully.
3. Decide to decide according to their core values. Identifying one’s core values also takes a bit of introspection and self-knowledge, but once they’re clear, making decisions is a piece of cake (unless they’re eating more healthfully :D). If something doesn’t align with those core values, it’s a hard pass.
4. Get help when needed. Sometimes clients can go from Step 1 to Step 4 when doing a task, but there is nothing that will get them to Step 5, the final step, without some sort of bridge or raft. It’s OK to ask for that help. Everyone is good at lots of things, but no one is good at everything, and it’s a sign of strength to let someone else use their talents to complement ours.